Keeping your whites whiter

What exactly is the protocol for having Billy Mays promote your products? Judging by his trustworthy image and unique sales pitch, I am led to believe that Billy Mays is perhaps the most powerful man in the TV product industry. Besides the energy he has injected into the genre in recent years, to which many cleaning manufacturers owe their profit, there is the fact that Billy has been kind enough to provide us, the consumer with a unique deal every time he appears on television.

It is because of this that I am sure the deals that we see being offered on TV are actually creations of Billy himself. He has reached a point where if he is asked to promote a product he sets the price on it, with the ability to include as many of an item, as well as any other product in the deal. The only thing he has no power over is shipping and handling, but rest assured, if we continue to buy products from Billy, it is only a matter of time before he is able to regulate that as well.

"Order a Samurai Shark now and I will throw in a second at no cost to you. And act within the next half hour and you can expect to see a trial of oxy clean as well, which will have your whites whiter! If thats not enough for you I will throw in Kaboom meaning you will never again have to clean your toilet!"

Of course, the real concern with Billy Mays is what exactly he did with Ron Popeil...